A Place That Doesn't Exist, 2017



Artist Performance Statement 

It began in 2014.

Since then,

Internal spaces related to dreams

Dreams focused on the activities within

The activities became performance

Performance turned into a document

A repetitive desire

To continue on.

 

Befallen into A Place That Doesn’t Exist

Through closed eyes

Contoured lines

Cut one by one.

Layer on layer.

Whole vs hole.

 

I make my way in

Not to be fooled

For only a few are temporary.

 

I visit these places at all times

Seeing behind my eyelids

Nothing entirely surprising

I investigate,  I obsess.

I try to channel and control the sort of activity

That I have bonded myself to

 

These shapes scatter across my mind

They stack up and pile

Or they hide in pages

Only found days weeks months later.

 

Perhaps this place is only a manifestation

Perhaps I have become so obsessed that I’ve convinced myself that there is an end and I can find an answer.

But It has taught me that the investigation will never end

The possibilities to decipher the shapes doesn’t stop

Am I fooling myself?

For the sensation that I am longing for was only temporary

That Blue. That Electric Blue.

Pumping out and back in. Over and over.

Then disappeared.

I have never seen anything quite like it.

 

That blue...I saw as a child.

When I woke up from my sleep I thought I was dreaming

But those blue dots turned into a blue figure

That Blue Figure

Something told me to follow it and I did.

It disappeared before my eyes

I remember it so vividly.

Perhaps that is my connection to the blue

There was something so chilling

To think that a color can be alive and move

Without being tangible

 

You are probably asking yourself why should this matter

Why this closed eye obsession?

Into what you… no what I believe to be an exploration

Into a place that even I cannot understand

A Place That Doesn’t Exist


Artist Statement

I am making a place that doesn’t exist. Drawing with my eyes closed leads me into it. Marks behave with immediacy, connecting my body and the surface they trace. I am attracted to particular surfaces for their connection to my skin. I draw lines, trace, cut out, stack, and scrap material. The grooves found in plywood, the soft sensual feeling of velvet, the static vibration of white lined carpeting, and the allure of stone paper.

Repetitive activity quietly exists on the surface of my work. At a distance it may appear merely as a shape, some lines, or a texture. It is not until a viewer engages closer that they sense indications of repetitive behavior of scratchings, spirals, or cut edges. The shapes have a past, generated from a place that doesn’t exist within me to residing in a new place that doesn’t exist within the viewer.

I associate place with the sensation of being inside a cave. From a young age, my family and I would stop to tour caves while on the way to a destination. During each tour, lights would be turned on to view then off to protect the life that thrives in darkness. There is a curiosity of experiencing a place that exists unseen. I compare this to the sensation of drawing with my eyes closed. Both exist as a vast darkness adjusting to see static, shapes, shadows, and shifts of color.

I first saw the Blue as a child woken up in the middle of the night, looking at the doorway. Seeing blue dots turn into a blue figure. Something told me to follow it and I did until the figure disappeared before my eyes. With this in mind, it is not entirely surprising that I had found the Blue once again as an adult. In a field of grass where a building and courtyard once stood, I saw the electric blue pumping out and back in behind my eyelids. I had never seen anything quite like it.

The sensation that I long for was only temporary. The blue indicates a connection to otherworldly experience and a sense of longing. That longing is triggered by the depth of the blue, instills a viewer a desire to search. The inquiry is to decipher what is to be found within the lines and shapes.

The work is something to be read into, contemplated, and felt. Line drawings guide into an unseen landscape. Silence is particularly important for the meditative activity of searching. Material, cut-outs, and their edges can be felt with the eyes. Blue is found in the darkest areas. Similar to a cave that inhabits life existing unseen when lights are turned off.  



Yet To Say Something Important, 2017

Spray paint, colored pencil, and stucco on gatorboard

34in x 41in


Closed Eyes #1, 2017

Micron pen on paper

3 ¼in x 5 ¼in


Stacking, 2017

Micron pen and colored pencil on paper

5 ½in x 8 ½in


Closed Eyes #2, 2017

Micron pen on paper

3 ¼in x 5 ¼in


Chamber, 2017

Spray paint, colored pencil, stucco, lint,and sand on gatorboard

14in x 36in


Ore, 2017

Spray paint and fabric on Gifted plywood

10 ¼in x 7 ½in


Way In, 2017

Chosen plywood

23 ½in x 47 ¾in


Vital, 2017

Micron and colored pencil on paper

5 ½in x 8 ½in


Summon, 2017

Acrylic on hardboard

5in x 6 ¼in


Descent, 2017

Acrylic on hardboard and gatorboard

17 ½in x 27in


Fuss, 2017

Acrylic on hardboard

11 ¾in x 7 ½in


Odds and Ends, 2017

Canvas, velvet, linen, and stone paper

6ft x 4ft


The One That Has Yet To Surface, 2017

Velvet on panel

35 ½in x 48in


Befall, 2017

Found white painted carpet on panel

24 ½in x 33 ¼in


Nothing Entirely Surprising, 2017

Performance documentation, projected installation, plywood,and micron on cut-out paper

8ft x 10ft (full) 21in x 33 in x 31in (plywood box)